Have you ever noticed that you are your own harshest critic? We often extend grace to others while denying it to ourselves.
Why self-compassion is vital. In a world that demands perfection, we often forget to be kind to ourselves. While caring for our physical bodies is the foundation. True self-compassion requires us to tackle the way we speak to ourselves internally.
Essential Pillars
Daily Routines
Visualization and the physiological benefits of gentleness improve emotional regulation, reduced anxiety and depression, increased resilience and healthier motivation.
Priorities and Routine
Self-care includes leisure, hygiene, physical activity, nutrition and spiritual health.
Mindfulness and Journaling
Specific exercises
Make a two column journal for in one column list positive and the other size list negative messages. List the positive and negative message you’ve heard from fellow family members.
We must have a clear understanding of how we are to manage our daily life. What is working for us and what isn’t working for us.
Our daily Routine
Does your daily routine involve self-care? If not how about making the next things a part of your daily routine?
- Leisure – Learn new things, find a hobby, learn music, find a sport you enjoy, play games
- Hygiene – Be in tune with your hygiene; taking a share, changing your clothes, applying lotions, sprays to smell good
- Physically – Love yourself; get physical – exercise at least 30 minutes a day, take a brisk walk in nature.
- Nutrition: Feed yourself nutritious three healthy meals a day, drink plenty of water each day.
- Spiritual – Feed your soul. Stay in God’s word daily. Praise God for all the good He brings to you. Listen to uplifting music. Find something that will make you giggle. Make some positive affirmation cards.
- Home – clean your home during stressful times while listening to music. Plan meals ahead of time to cook once a week. This way, you only need to clean up once a week. It will help cut out daily stressors of figuring out what to cook and picking up last-minute ingredients.
How To Have Self-Compassion
Learning how to have compassion for ourselves in the heat of the moment can be difficult for most of us. We can all think of a situation in our life that is difficult and the stress it is causing.
Try to remember the most recent situation. See if you can feel the pressure. Notice the emotional discomfort that is arising in your body.
- Everyone has something about themselves that they do not like.
- It causes them to feel shame. It also causes embarrassment and insecurity.
- It is something that you don’t feel good about yourself.
Our imperfect feelings, failures, and choices we have made are part of our life. Try writing about an issue you have that seems to be re-occurring, something you keep rehashing in your mind.
Emotions
What emotions come up for you when you think about something that you are struggling with? If you can’t get the emotions to come out. Then, I recommend writing about the issue to a loving and imaginary friend.
Imaginary Friend
Visualize your imaginary friend in a moment of quiet. A gentle kind guardian who knows your entire life history. And sees your struggles not as failures. But as part of the shared human experience. This friend’s love isn’t something you have to earn. It is a steady presence that remains even when you try to push it away.
Image a friend who has walked beside you since your very first breath. This friend is a gentle witness to your entire story. This imaginary friend knows every secret struggle, every quiet triumph, and the weight of every burden you’ve ever carried. They do not judge you for your limits. Instead, they offer a kindness that flows like a steady river, deep and unwavering.
Even when you try to push this presence away or blame them for things beyond your control, they stay. Their wisdom is a soft light in the dark, reminding you that your imperfections are simply part of being human. Today, stop fighting. Lean into your unconditional love and let yourself be truly seen, soothed and comforted.
Empathetic: Do you struggle with a harsh inner critic? Learn how to embrace self-compassion through practical routines, mindfulness, and the healing power of gentleness.
Action-Oriented: Transform your relationship with yourself. Explore essential pillars of self-care, including Journaling exercises and visualization techniques to calm your mind.
Scientific Holistic: Discover the physiological benefits of self-kindness. Find out how to bring lasting calmness to your daily life.
Here are four Bible verses that align perfectly with the themes of self-kindness, inner rest, and God’s unconditional love: Self-compassion is not just a modern self-help concept, but a practice deeply rooted in faith.
- Psalm 139:14 (NIV): “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This is a powerful antidote to self-criticism. Reminding us that our very existence is a deliberate and beautiful creation of God.
- Matthew 11:28 (NIV): “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” This verse supports us in taking breaks. Rest is a divine invitation rather than something that must be earned.
- Lamentations 3:22–23 (NIV): “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” This provides comfort for those struggling with past mistakes, highlighting that each day offers a fresh start through God’s unwavering compassion.
- Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT): “For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” This verse beautifully mirrors your Imaginary Friend exercise by portraying God. God is a loving presence who delights in us and actively works to calm our anxieties.
Finding Peace in the Pause
Feeling Well
Have you ever noticed that you are your own harshest critic? We often extend grace to others while denying it to ourselves.
Why self-compassion is vital. Especially, in a world that demands perfection, we often forget to be kind to ourselves. While caring for our physical bodies is the foundation. True self-compassion requires us to tackle the way we speak to ourselves internally. Describe what you are like when you are feeling well. List the things you need to do often to feel well and that help you relieve stress in your life.
Acknowledge it happened and let it go. Accept that you have overreacted, and learn to forgive yourself!
Gentleness
Touch helps soothe and relax us. It activates the care system and the parasympathetic nervous system. These systems help us calm down and feel safe. This feels awkward at first but your body doesn’t know that you feel awkward.
Our body responds to the physical gesture of warmth. It interprets the care it provides as if you are holding an infant in your arms. The skin is an incredibly sensitive organ.
Calmness
Hopefully, you’ll start developing new ways to bring calmness to yourself. Take full advantage of the tools that are available for us these days; free apps, classes, groups, etc. The ‘Calm’ app is a great app to have on your phone.
The Inner Critic Transformation
It’s a useful way to work on your inner critic. It’s an internal dialogue. Write it out to read it later if you so choose to. This can lead to some major transformations.
Whether you are feeling bad about something, think about what you’ve just said to yourself.
- Are there common words you use when you are expressing something about yourself?
- What phrases come up over and over again?
- Is there a tone you keep?
- Who are you mimicking?
- What pain keeps on recurring?
Get It All Out
Journaling
Journaling is an effective way to express your emotions, and this will help your well-being. Daily events are great things to write down and evaluate in your quiet times.
Write In A Journal
- Make two columns in your journal.
- Write the names of your family members who communicated to you that had worth and value.
- Underneath their names write some of the things they said that stand out in your mind.
- Was there anyone who told you that you were attractive?
- Were any of these people relatives?
- Write the words they spoke to you in your journal.
- Now think through some of the negative messages you received.
- Who in your family caused you to question your worth?
- Was there a sibling or parent who constantly criticized your appearance?
- Was your father capable of expressing his love to you?
- Write out prayers of forgiveness.
- For most of us, the second side of the page will be a lot easier to fill in. We remember the negative far more than we do the positive. There also wasn’t as much positive.
- Write down what you felt bad about. Include anything that led you to judge yourself. Add any other difficult experience that has caused you pain.
- Where you have become impatient with, or reacted to a person in a certain way.
- What made you feel ashamed?
- Were there any embarrassing moments?
Cause and Affect = Results
Mindfulness
Use mindfulness and learn to have more self-compassion for yourself. Mindfulness is bringing awareness to the painful emotions that cross your mind and are derived from self-judgment.
Write down how you feel; sad, ashamed, frightened, stressed, angry.
The definition of dialogue is to take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem. Take ownership that this criticism no longer has control over you. It\’s your life and you choose to not be controlled by anther\’s criticism, their issues are not your issues! It\’s time to move on.
Meet your own needs head-on. Recognize that this will enhance the quality of your life. It will also allow you to be there for those who rely on you.
Compassion
- Acknowledge that this is a moment of suffering; it hurts, and this discomfort is part of life.
- Be mindful of what hurts now slowly place your hand on your chest over your heart.
- Console yourself by asking yourself what do I need to hear right now?
A Compassionate Friend
- What would this friend say to you about your situation issue. And from the perspective of them having unlimited compassion for you?
- How would this friend convey the deep compassion they feel for you over this painful situation issue?
- What would this friend write about? They want to remind you that you are only human. You have the strength to overcome this situation or issue.
Compassion For Yourself
- Notice the stressors.
- Take 2-3 deep and satisfying breaths.
- Place your hand over your heart.
- Feel the gentle pressure of your hand on your heart.
- Take in the natural rising and falling of your chest as you inhale and exhale slowly.
- Soak up these feelings for as long as you like.
- Gently tickling your arms is another way to bring down the stress you are experiencing.
Traits
- What do you criticize yourself about?
- What do others criticize you about?
- Who has criticized you in the past?
Describe what you are like when you are feeling well.
List the things you need to do often to feel well and that help you relieve stress in your life. Which of these self-compassion tools resonated most with you today?
“Self-compassion is not about making excuses for ourselves. It is about acknowledging our shared humanity and the divine love that carries us through it. Whether you are practicing a new daily routine. Quieting our inner critic, or resting in the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember that every small step toward kindness matters.
You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of rest or love. Today, I invite you to take a deep breath, place a hand over your heart, and simply be. You are seen, you are known, and you are deeply loved.”
Which of these self-compassion tools resonated most with you today?
